The Family Curse

As promised, it is I, Flo, here to en-lighten [no pun intended] you all once again on the deep mysteries of Nellie.

Yesterday I told you that Nellie has opportunities that she purposely ignores and pushes aside. Well, it's not like people are beating down her door offering her fame and fortune for all of nothing. Don't get me wrong. Nellie would have to work for it.

Every person that's ever read Nellie's writing has been positive about it. Her high school English teacher encouraged her to write and has remained a cheerleader to this day. Her college professors all loved her and wrote glowing praises on all her papers. Her journalism prof even went so far as to suggest some magazines that she should submit her work to.

Did she? No. Why?

Is Nellie afraid of the work it would involve? Absolutely not. Writing is not work for Nellie; it comes to her quite easily.

Then why pass up opportunities that merely require a bit of work?

Because.

Because why? you may ask.

Because of the Family Curse.

The "What if I try and Fail?" Curse.

In Nellie's family there have always been creative individuals. In fact, most everybody in Nellie's family has a talent of some sort or other. She has one sister who's artistic. Another who's a violinist. Neither of them has pursued their talents. Nellie herself has numerous talent areas besides writing.

Further back, her grandfather was an extremely talented cook and musician. But he worked most of his life in menial jobs for low pay. Why?

Still further back, her great-grandmother (grandfather's mother) dreamed of being a writer and poet. Sure, she submitted ditties now and then to the local newspaper, many of which were printed. But in her long life she never quite completed so much as a full outline for a manuscript, much less the manuscript itself. Why?

Not that I can speak with 100% authority on the matter, but from what I gather, talented people in Nellie's family have a deep-seated--perhaps inbred--fear of failure.

You know the old saying "better to have loved and lost than to never love at all?" Well, Nellie's family does not take that to heart when it comes to exercising and honing talents. Their mantra is more like "better to have never tried than to try and fail" or something along those lines.

So herein lies an interesting conundrum for Nellie. Through a twist of fate, she had the opportunity to write and publish two books--I think I told you that before. The one became quite popular and she's been interviewed for magazine articles as a result. You'd think most people with that kind of opportunity would work doubly hard to keep promoting their work and keep the ball rolling, right??

Well, I have to give Nellie a bit of credit. She set up a website about her books, current projects and such. It's allowed people who've read her work to find her and comment to her or ask questions. That's been good. She has worked some on writing projects in the last two years since the books were published, but she hasn't done nearly as much as she could. Rather than being interviewed for magazine articles, why isn't she writing them herself? She has experience, education and excellent references.

And why, months after finishing the huge fiction project (that I mentioned previously as well), has she only sent a query out to ONE (1) agent?

Granted, she has a lot going on. Kids to raise, one graduating from high school, a house in construction-hell, the looming job market that stinks but yet she needs to get back into at some point. But still, her time isn't *that* tight. She could squeeze in the time and effort to write more, send more out, try to rummage up some income. She could.

But she doesn't work as hard as she could on it. Deep down, despite her success, she seems afraid of it. She knows she can write well, it's not that. But she just doesn't have the confidence to really stick her neck out. If it hadn't been for her friend who talked her into writing the first book in the first place, she likely wouldn't have even done that!!

So the family curse survives another generation. And the deep-down nagging feeling that "I could be more than I am" eats away at Nellie's nerves. And then guess what happens? Yes, she eats to shut it up. It's amazing how a double scoop of chocolate peanut-butter ice cream can calm those darn nagging fears.

Let's review. Our list of "Reasons Why Nellie Eats" now includes:
1. her nervous disposition
2. her stubborn insistence that she can damn well do whatever she wants as an adult
3. her nagging fears of failure as a writer

What more can there be?? Oh just you wait. There's plenty!

That's all for today. Tomorrow promises to be full of more construction nightmares, so you may not hear from me. But rest assured that I will be diligently analyzing our subject for more clues so that, even if she never takes our advice, at least *we* will understand her.